You can see me now...

When you're the only girl riding in the car with boys, there are perks that goes with it. They open the door for you, let you take the front seat, let you pick the channel on the radio and tend to (or act like) they're hanging on to your every word. In every group of friends there is always the star of the show. Riding in the car with boys gives the instant celebrity status even if its just amongst friends. Life was that good.


One such friday, I ditched my regular boys to chase strawberries down with champagnes at Atmosphere's anniversary when i spied with my little eye: my beautiful raven haired J i knew from a week back, hanging out with a few friends. She told me she was busy. I chose not to get worked up about it and went out with new and selected friends. I got myself busy at the choccy fountain dipping strawberries, trying to ignore few amorous gents when Joanne came up and spoke to me.


How do you like it?


Excuse me, Hi? I asked nicely.


I'm Joanne. You're Mj!


I know who you are. How do you know me?


How do you like it? she asked again, her eyes lingered on my finger coated in melted chocolate.


I smiled, licked my finger (not in a hamsup way) and replied: 'Could be better with champagnes! though i think they ran out of it'.


She touched me and said, 'you wait here, i'll get you one'


'Two!' i said - a decibel above the average chatters as i watched her disappeared into the crowd. My eyes starts to wander to the outlet on the other side of the club watching J. I smiled at her. She nodded back at me. She seemed to have whispered something to her friends and started walking in my direction. On the far right, Joanne weaves her way to me with a waiter behind her and 3 champagne flutes. She waved, I smiled. Inside i panicked.

J was next to me first, Joanne was stopped by few admirers on her way. At that time, the resident photographer asked to snap few pictures. We posed for what i can say, the best picture of us together. That was the time i first met Vincent. He was the photographer then, now a really good friend.

J asked me what was i doing at the Atmosphere's anniversary? I said i came with a friend, 'since you're too busy with your own to even tell me where you're partyin'.

Are you stalking me? she asked.

You sure wish! i smiled; not wanting to create any trouble.

She left to join her friends while i whored myself for another camera. Joanne finally arrived with her waiter who served me the champagnes. We were just getting into a conversation when the deejay called for her. Joanne was the celebrity emcee for the night. Just before she walked off she pointed at me: "i've got some stuff to do, you stay here. i'll be back" -

I shrugged. I was ready to leave for another club. I texted J about my departure, grabbed my date's car keys tossed it over Mark a devilishly handsome gay man and told him to chauffeur us to Liquid. When you're riding in the car with any boys, they are gentlemen enough to let you do what you want. Mark started the car, i pushed her to the back seat, pulled her clothes off and went down. In the boxy BMW there's only so much space to maneuver. If i had the metals, she'd be cuffed down. Mark enjoyed the driving and when we arrived at our next destination, we were properly tousled as Mark opened our door.

i hopped out, breezed through the door bitch, went to the ladies to wash up, ditched my date when i ran into Rachel. I look out to Mark, he nodded to me and lets me go while he keeps the other one occupied and not crying. Before the end of the night, i was on the phone texting sweet nothing to J with one hand, the other hand was clasp in Rachel's while my date - was working the back of my neck and nicknaming me Shane. i certainly do not remember how i got home or who i brought home.

I'm so far away from being Shane. At least, at that time - I've not watched the show yet. I prefer to say i'm Stuart Allen Jones; but my conquests - was not even par level. I did use his line however, when Rachel asked me 'When can i see you again?'

I answered: You can see me now.

so ghetto was heaven!

I've been going into Zouk for Ghetto Heaven before i discovered Mambo and having access beyond the velvet rope upstairs definitely broadened my opportunity to hunt. What else would i do when i was 29?

I met up with a few friends and i began almost immediately.

Subject: Amanda.

It was tight upstairs i was downing vodka and long island teas all night. Never more steady than this. We were all looking in one direction - a very beautiful goddess in her full ghetto-getup. Rating at a stunning 10, i can only smile.

She smiled back, looking a bit uncertain why she did, but she did it.

She was on her way to the ladies and i was just fighting the biggest mental debate on whether to go that way, or not. I chose not to. Too early to tell.

I can't remember much about the music that night - the only thing i could remember is, I met her. She came back in the same direction and i was just delighted. While others complain the tables are set to close to each other; at that moment - i was delighted at the sensuality of such close proximity. She had to pass me by again.

I smiled again.
No hesitation, she smiled back (probably in the back of her head - ah shit, smile only lah!)

The space was so tight, it took her at least a good 2 minutes to walk from left to right of me. I said Hi, and she smiled back. Truly i am lost for words. Stunned by her beauty, too tongue tied to say anything else. She was gonna go off into her entourage of adoring men. I shrugged.

I turned back to watch the dance floor and those on the podium. The dancefloor glistened with hot beautiful people gyrating to the bass of the song. The energy was indeed charged and everybody was wired on 100 ringgit sex and johnnie. She passed by again. I grinned.

This time she has a bodyguard paving way for her. I should step back before i get bashed in the face but i didn't. She smiled this time. I said Hi when finally i could hear her voice. She said Hi back.


I'm back in the game!
All of a sudden, i'm nonchalant. Bodyguard guided her to the ladies and then back again after a while. Why use the same direction to pass?! I'm intrigued. She passed me by when i turned back to my join my party posse, she grabbed me lightly on my arm.

Hey! She said.
Yeah? I turned, Hi! I smiled.

What's your name? She asked.
err ahm... leans into her, Marilyn! I said.
She smiled and turn to leave.

I grabbed her arm.
Hey! What's yours? I asked, i didn't want to just let her go off just like that.

Amanda!



She left. I glanced at my friend, put my glass in her hands and say, watch this. I went up to her table excused myself through her bevy of boys: who are you? who are all these boys? I asked. Admirers she joked. My entourage.

I'm gonna leave you here with yr entourage, I just wanna tell you, I think you're beautiful, i told her and left. This is one night of frequent arm grabbing because her bodyguard stopped me before i could walk further. Man! was i in trouble or was i in trouble?

Yeah? I asked the gorilla.

She thinks you're fine too! He says to me.

I stepped back in. What do you mean? Does she like girls too?

Bigboy said - She's getting rather tired of boys...

I took out my card and passed it on to him - well tell her if she ever wants to know, she can call me. Oh and tell her, she looks damn fine! i walked away.

I got back to my friends who were watching the entire exchange earlier and continued to party.
I never got a call from her. Or even if i did, I wouldn't have known because I simply don't like to answer a number I'm not familiar with. Whatever it is, the same friends who were with me that night told me they did saw her in liquid twice and i honestly missed it. I dare not believe what they say because i have yet to see her around; but then again, as i write this - i hardly remember how she looked.

I only remember the memory of a really hot babe.
mybad

A painting is a painting is a painting

Every time i go south, I drive past this art gallery (old house transformed into a showroom) which never failed to take me back to when i was 29. It was barely a one-night thing but the memory was

sweet.

There was a certain someone who took me as her plus one to the gallery. Miserably not wanting to be branded as part of this two-some, i texted Panya to join me mingle with a bunch of artsy people and drink wine. While i let milady mingle with her set of friends,

my eyes began to wander.

There were beds in the garden and avant garde paintings in the living room. People were admiring the bed artfully and the only thought that ran though my head was - wtf?! I think the lady who owned the house must have seen the horror registering on my face watching dem art ppl go "hmmm..." at the bed because she approached me next with a tray of champagne flutes and whispered in my ear, "yes you can sit on it, its not an art piece" - i delightfully turned around and grinned, took two glasses of champagne proceeded to lay down on the bed about to stare at the starry starry sky.

A head popped up in my view - its my plus one.

"Having fun?" she asked

"Not nearly, there's not a cute chick in site"

"Can I join you?"

"Ermm.... (smiles) I'd like my bed vacant just in case Angelina Jolie comes along"

She sulked and joined her band of 30-something crowd.
Another head popped in view.

Bridgette.

"Hey havin fun?" she asked

"Now that you're here..."

"tease! Can i sit?"

"only if you're alone..."

Bridgette sat next to me, we caught up on the years that passed us by. She's with her man and i'm with nobody.

"So how come we never kissed?" i asked - Forget the phone numbers. Not interested. She had to leave my faux bed anyway, I lay down again.

The scene replayed with at least 3 more girls. Its amazing. All i needed was an art thing, a bed in the garden and women tired out of their tiny lil feet wanting so much to sit where i am but daren't ask me. I got up the moment my date's face popped in view again.

I walked away muttering, "This is ridiculous!" - I'm sure she heard it. Honestly, i couldn't care. I walked upstairs to chase the waiters for amuse bouche then ran into more i knew from the years i was blur. I sort of tailed Gillian for a bit, only because i'm smittened. About the 8th flute, I got introduced to an old friend's friend - Michelle.

Michelle is this cute chinese girl, long hair and beautiful smile. She's obviously dizzy from champagne too and I'm just horny. We chatted a bit, laughed a bit, smiled a bit - she said she never kissed a girl - and i dropped my one and only pick up line:

"baby if you weren't so straight, i'd be so lucky..." - i believed, she blushed, excused herself to the candle-lined powder room while i finish yet another glass. I told Sab, babe - you watch my glass, i'll be down soon.

I found myself standing behind her at the johns waiting; i leaned in to take a whiff of her.
Heaven. I said champagnes should smell like you.

"What?" she didn't hear me. The door opened and she asked me if i wanted to go first.

As she opened the door to let me in and closed it behind her, I pushed her against the wall and kissed her. No rejection. Her fingers wrapped around the back of my neck and i carried her up on the sink - and we continued. Sweet champagnes and long minutes later, we straightened ourselves, unable to let go of the kisses. Her date and mine, were waiting for us downstairs - she reminded me.

She gave me her card and went out. I stayed in, opened the can, stared at her name and ditched the card.

What should i have done that night? I joined my date, she joined hers. From across the room we smiled. She gestured to call her. i winked. Panya arrived and another new game commenced. My date huffed and puffed her way back to the car -

and i went home with sweet sweet memories.

29 Again

I'm embarking on a new journey -

If i say its a no-man land, i will never get laid by cute boys anymore. If I say I'm 32 this year - I may never get laid again by cute boys anymore. So i've decided in true Charlotte York fashion, I'm 29 again and in total denial of being in my 30s. It's not difficult to start imagining. When i celebrated my 29th, my life started off with 3 weeks drowned in 'why-me' misery.

As i found myself sitting amidst a sea of aspiring lawyers on a Sunday morning, i asked myself - did i really think i was gonna pass that local paper and stand in a crowd of suit to present my case? I can't even stand in a room of relatives and tell them to shut the fuck up and stop asking me the dreaded question: 'when are you getting married?'

So i packed my bag and texted my cousin out for coffee. He replied.

"Darling, i'm in La Bodega having breakfast, come and join us"

I was there in a flash! And was greeted by 12 beautiful boys all brunching on a beautiful Sunday morning. Flashbacks of To Wong Foo -

Vida Boheme: Well pumpkins, it comes down to that age-old decision: style or substance?

I was 29 goddamnit!
There are things to do before my 365 days are up.
Threesomes, multiple orgasms, multiple partners...
wait i'm not finished.
fuck a model,
screw a sugar daddy or sugar mummy
fuck an unpolished city chick
fuck a provincial princess
fuck a few good men

that day at the coffee shop was the day i decided, i'm gonna fuck like a gay man. Ain't nobody gonna rain on my charade.

(yes, charade)